I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
