is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sext me about skeletons
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
