You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
