when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
