Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
