Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
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We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
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He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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