Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I have post one night stand depression
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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