judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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