he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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