so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
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bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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