well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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