Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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