so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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