Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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