also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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