Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
