He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
