im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
