Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
