hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
