I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
