so explain again why im purple
no
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
