it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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