I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
