this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
