I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
