So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
