My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
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This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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