Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
