I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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