I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
