I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize