ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
