Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
