Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize