You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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