Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
