Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This is my gift to your gina
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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