He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
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i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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