I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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