the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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