..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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