Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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