Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
