sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
