yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
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We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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