Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just cut my nipple shaving
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
