I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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