I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
