your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
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vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize