I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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