i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
