are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
