I'm gonna have a badass scar
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize