You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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