My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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