I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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