Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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