dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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