Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
