I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
