if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
